A conversation with Priya

“Anyway, it makes no difference to your present. In a sense, that will last a lifetime.”

1.     Why do some people not have ‘best friends’? Is it luck, or is it that individual’s nature, or is it about both parties, ie. the connection?     

      2. Does the soul exist? If it does, is it permanent? Is conscience an aspect of the soul? For conscience does change with outlook and societal impact. If not permanent, does the soul mature with experience? Do people who do what may be considered ‘evil’ have an immature, young soul that will grow with multiple bodies?

        3.  (This is my favourite part) Why do we exist if we have to die?

      Life is like a dynamic chemical equilibrium. If nothing existed, the world would be in a constant steady state. Right now however, we live and we die. We appear to be stationary because we come back to the same point, but we’re not. We are the dynamic equilibrium. Like chemical equilibrium which appears to be steady by virtue of the fact that the forward and reverse reaction rates are similar, we just appear to be steady, when in fact, our life is about what happens in the middle: it is still happening.

      

Infinity

The walls that surrounded me were pitch black, and I could only see a bridge strewn across it, in a nonchalant flow of brick and concrete. Behind the wall was a city full of 24-storey buildings. They appeared to arise from the bridge, stolid from digging their roots into the steel dock. In that brief moment of observation, I felt like I was underground, in a non-existent reality. However, unlike the Ghost of Christmas that observed the world from the skies, I was the Halloween Devil, entrapped in the Earth’s basement, craning my neck to catch a breath of life.

I wanted to get onto that bridge, but I didn’t know how to. Its ends were obscured by the blackness of the wall. How do I find them?

How do I escape to my horizon?

In a frenzy, I began walking towards the bridge. It was easy to lose sight of it, because the nearer I got to the wall, larger seemed the blackness. At a point, I could see my bridge directly above me. Even though that made me feel close to the life above, it concealed the only glimpse of existence I had. It made me think of basic human instincts: of how, when the goal is more visible, the will is stronger.

The most overpowering reality is that which is tangible.

How I wished I could stretch my hands and run my fingers along the glass windows of those buildings! If only I could stroke them with my fingertips, I’m sure I could have garnered enough power to grow a pair of wings and fly into the city of my dreams.

Instead, it was hope I had to hold onto.

The bridge was directly overhead, so I started walking beneath it, in parallel, assuming that that way, I would see when its level starts coming down, and I know I’m nearing my entry into the world above.

But it just didn’t.

The bridge continued to remain parallel to my head, even though I was sure I had walked miles! This struck me as very odd, because from afar, it did not seem that lengthy. Then why did it seem to stretch so?

I concluded that it was probably an illusion. Maybe from a distance, it just seemed shorter. With that in mind, I continued to walk.

And walk. And walk.

And walk.

To no avail.

Tired of this seeming paradox, and fatigued physically as well, I decided to walk perpendicular to my current direction the, away from the wall, in order to view the bridge from a distance and console myself of its finiteness. After walking what seemed like a mile without looking back, I closed my eyes and turned around. When I opened them, I saw the bridge similarly terminable as before! A very eclectic feeling overpowered me, and I did not know whether I wanted to cry or to laugh. Nevertheless, the confirmation enhanced my hope, and I decided to walk at this distance from the bridge, so as to get a continuous view.

When I finally saw the level of the bridge receding, I was overjoyed! I felt like this in itself was an achievement. I started hopping towards the wall again, with a permanent smile on my face, a mark of pride and relief. The joyous stride however slowly translated into a tired stroll. The journey seemed endless. And what was more, I hardly seemed to be getting nearer to the wall!

How could this be?!

I had walked this path two times over, and managed to go to and fro the bridge. What was so different this time? Somewhere inside me, I knew the answer, but my logic defied it. Physical distances were permanent. They could not change with the emotions of the person trying to transcend them!

Rationality is the only constant.

Constant not in this world of three-dimensional infinities, unfortunately, where infinity itself was eccentric. I suddenly realized that that was probably where logic was failing me. When talking about infinities, we are trumping all reason, all definition, and all constancy. And in what is transient, there is no eccentricity. There is only unpredictability.

I sat down. Strangely, this was not because I had accepted defeat. No, my will was still strong. On the contrary, it was because I felt wiser. One must not be oblivious to the truth, I told myself. One must accept it, and then search for a greater truth that encompasses that truth.

Ever-increasing degrees of truth? Everything is infinite, I realized. Especially in a world where infinity is the only truth.

So all I really needed to do was to stretch my hands...

The Binding Problem

I stared into the glass beads.

I watched my million eyes as eyeballs placed on my palm.

I watched as I controlled my vision with an arm’s movement, now to see millions of consummate mes, entrapped within crystal cells,

Fossilized only till I live to see.

I could watch myselves watching myself.

It felt strange to be able to hold my multiplicities in my hand,

To be able to hear my personalities clash unto the next,

and experience all this from a third person’s point of view.

It felt strange to be able to feel myself as inanimate existences,

solidified in a tangible consciousness that I imparted.

I, as a unity, into myselves.

While all they could do was to engender the rays that intersected at a virtual point of their reality.

Me.