Stuff I suck at.

Perception and intuition to me are very connected. I happen to suck at both. Although the former is a form of rationalization and the latter mostly a preclude to hallucinations, they do share a middle ground- sort of an educated guess. I suck at that too.

She is sitting alone in the park, staring into nothingness. She is one of those reticent souls, but she has these bouts of emotional diarrhea wherein she floods anyone sitting next to her with all that is troubling her. A week ago, I was one such unfortunate person.
And so it began. It was sad. Her grandmother was suffering from cancer which was detected in its 4th stage. It was hard to predict where it originated or how much time she had left- it might be 3 days, maybe 3 months, maximum 3 years. And her life was in a mess. Her parents took night shifts at the hospital which were to her an interim of relief, because when together, all they did was argue.
I felt sad for her- as sad as one can feel for someone they hardly know. But I knew this feeling was fleeting, and would entail only till it was usurped by the normal resentment I felt towards her. So I humbled her, said a few consoling words, patted her on the back, and went back to culturing bacteria in a plate.


Ah, yes. This must be what is wrong with her today. Maybe her grandmother's condition is deteriorating. There is sadness and guilt, but mostly there is this overcoming feeling of achievement: I know what is wrong.
I sit next to her. "It'll be alright," I say. "I don't think so", is her reply.

Damn. Maybe she has passed away. More sadness. More guilt.

"I'm sorry.."

"It's okay. I hope she burns in hell".

Hmm.
Wait. What?
I gape at her.

"She was a jackass," she says.

"I'm sorry you think that way. But you know, she's dead. I think you ought to respect her just a tad," I say disdainfully.

"Who's dead?"

"Umm.. your grandmother?"

"Who said she's dead?"

"But.. you.. she had cancer, didn't she?"

"She does, yes. But I'm talking about my girlfriend. Ex girlfriend. She's such a b****."


OH CRAP. And I thought I was improving.